I am in transition. Hope you enjoy the ride through my thoughts, hopes, dreams, stories, adventures, misadventures, and the never ending pursuit of the things we call happy.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

here's what...

It's already November...

Today I had my first eggnog latte from Starbucks. I usually do half skim, half eggnog cause I feel as though I'm going to have a very nice "up" as I drink it with the caffeine boost and sweetness, and then a plummeting, skid mark (not like the underwear kind... or maybe after), kind of "down" that brings out my mean alter ego side AKA "Brenda". She is slightly terrifying. Lil children have cried a time or two with Brenda.

My poor plant, Stanley, has to stay inside more than he'd like... but he is a funny lil critter of a plant. He is a succulent... they are desert plants... but in my first attempt this past summer at having a green thumb I managed to not only keep him alive til now, but created a monster. He is HUGE. Not fat like they are supposed to be, I'm talking he'd be a basketball player if he were a person. Huge.

Also it means one more year where you can dress up and get away with it. I was my boss. It was pretty epic. It was a dare at first I believe but then turned into something for the history books. He was either going to be completely pissed, or find it comical and amusing. We took our chances. And thus he was amused. Although with my fake black hair, and dark tone makeup (as he is Filipino after all) he called me a hobo in class, but if you think about it.... technically and all... he realllllly called himself a hobo, so I found that funny too.

There's a different feeling during Nutcracker reh. The deadline to get all the info taught, then (lol) at the same time get all the info learned, keep the kids in line (and by "kids" I also mean company), for the women learn 18 different snow and flowers, and men dance with multiple women for the same cast and naturally they are all different heights, sizes, and movers, making it "interesting and different" as one of my partners put it, but it's also bittersweet. You've been dancing in a Nutcracker probably since either the days you were a mouse (although I started as a party scene girl as my Southern mama didn't "wanna pay that much for me to either run around the stage like a rodent or march around like a soldier) and you hear the music in commercials and slightly cringe, or even in the mall and find it slightly funny when there's a techno sugar plum music in the back ground... really, techno? But all the while, you too, indeed, have a deadline in your career. It's one more thing every year to check off your ballet bucket list, that you will never be in, during the Holiday season. You are no longer apart of it... you just sit back and enjoy it. You hit your Nutcracker quota. I wrote on my status today "Why is sugar plum so freakin hard! And it doesn't even look hard.... but seriously...."........ and one of my most favorite dancers, and dear friend responded "I did it for eighteen years and it NEVER got any easier.......... It just is very very very did I say very LONG!!!!!!!!!!"... When it's put into perspective I only but hope that dancers enjoy every snow spot they have, every blister they get from character shoes from party scene, the challenge of different partners. You will one day not get to be "apart" of the Holidays.

I love to laugh and make others laugh... even, if it means to go out on a limb and make a fool of myself in the process... and I am also not afraid to laugh at myself. It took me awhile to get here... haven't always been this secure in myself to laugh at myself, but have found it makes life more enjoyable. Have more perspective. Try something new (green thumbs are in), laugh at yourself and be utterly silly without fear, and enjoy the moments that right now you may cringe at, but in the tomorrow of all tomorrows you may not get...

Til next time...

                                                                         "My boss and I"
                                                                         "me as my boss"
                                                                        "My Stanley" ... opps

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