So... Hi. I know you probably don't know me... which is a bit funny as I can say the feeling is mutual. I also know there are a lot of people already who will simply be mad at it my opening statement, but I can honestly say I don't know you. I am not "someone" really in the grand scheme of things, but to my loved ones and students I have taught and currently teach, I'd only but hope they'd say otherwise.
I do know that according to Google search in the past few years that our stances on a lot of things differ... abortion, partial birth abortion, health care, arts and education, and overall health and wellness.
I don't know, maybe at 27 I am all too old fashioned. I want to believe there is still more good in the world. That magic does exist. That love is valued. That hope is something not just to hope for.
But I sit here in my tiny rented house with my husband, 3 roommates, 3 dogs, and a cat knowing fully well that pit mixes are probably banned in the city I live in (if you could explain that one that'd be great too) and look around and see mainly struggle... struggle in my own life, struggle within my family, struggle with people like me who work damn hard for their dreams to come true but with veeeeery little support from a government who isn't artistic...
did I mention I am a professional ballet dancer... I teach it too. Emerson did say "to have left this world a little better.... this is to have succeeded"... in teaching beauty I can succeed...
but the struggle continues. Within the struggle though, my husband and I have always made do. Tithes to church (even when on a many occassions 10% was skinny like a zipper), sponsor childeren through church for their Christmas' (and they normally ask for clothes, scarves, and gloves... this last year though ta little boy asked for clothes and hotwheels... oh ya... we hooked him up), also started sponsoring a little boy from Africa through Compassion International, I'm starting to volunteer again too, Saturday I am going to a woman's halfway house rehab center that is called "Mending Hearts" to paint, landscape, and help with the construction on a new building as the program is growing... which for me, who has a sibling that is far gone to drugs and alcoho,l this cause is very near and dear to my heart cause it shows that although these women struggle they too somewhere inside of them have found that dream for hope.
I'm not saying all this to say "he buddy look at what all we do", but simply that inspite of the struggle that causes a LOT of pain, there are still people out here... good people, honest, hard working, tax paying (a lot of tax paying... I think next to anyone who is an artist, teach, educator on their resume' it should also say high tax payer), people who want to still think they can believe in good. I want a house. The American dream right... ?. I am so thankful for all the struggle that has even been handed to me. There has been a lot. I am thankful because I know that the struggle of my now isn't my darkest of hours. I know that there are many that are worse off. I get letters from my sponsor child... he is beautiful... he is 7... he sleeps in a tarp.
But the fact that bothers me most... not your stances on women's rights, abortion, partial birth abortion, gay rights, the war, economics, health care reform, yada yada yada... but those it appears we differ too on some... the one that bugs me most is... what do you believe in?
When I say that, I mean... I want to be a woman so in love with God that to see me you see Him too... that on my 12th hr of life noone would ever question if I believed or not... I do... ps... dot com. But... I don't know anything about that aspect of your life. Does that bother you? I does me... like... I don't know what you believe in. I know what I see from Google and your book, but I don't think I have ever heard you pray out loud to the nation... except to the National Prayer Breakfast which I'd only but hope there would be a prayer... haha yet it wasn't actually a prayer was it but a speech so I'm not sure that counts... Should the very couthry that you run, that is a Christian, Faith based nation, know what their "boss", "head hauncho", "da man", "home boy", "main squeeze", etc believe in? Isn't that kind of important?
Well, I'm off to make tea, feed my furkids, and do a little literal dreamin since figurative dreaming is a little harder most days.
A confused citizen